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Response To "Muscular Men Make Poor Boyfriends".

This is a response to the article "Muscular men make poor boyfriends: study" published in the Jamaica Observer on July 9, 2012.

My first problem is with the title of this article. I've seen a couple of muscular farmers and mechanics, but I don't think that's who the researchers had in mind. So let's call these men body builders. Wow, what a positive term. These men are building themselves. This immediately softens the sensational nature of the headline. But given the weak nature of the article, it's best that it avoids drawing any extra attention to itself.


Now let's get to the meat of the matter. The researchers assert that "those who aim for bodily perfection, to the point of obsession, are usually narcissistic". Unless narcissism is muscular disorder, I think these researchers have missed the point of their findings. The problem isn't muscle mass, it's narcissistic personality traits which can exist in any group of men - or women for that matter.

Interestingly, one of the researchers admitted that the problematic boyfriends aren't regular gym users, but fixated ones. Thanks for pointing out the obvious! If someone is fixated on something, they will neglect other things, girlfriends included. But it's also possible that they are mistaking dedication for fixation. Is someone who religiously goes to the gym five days a week fixated? And is that a bad thing? If the answer to those questions is yes, then supremely successful men who work six days a week, and men who go to worship...um...religiously are also fixated and would make bad lovers.

As for the women who had bad relationships with 'gym freaks', soldiers, good looking men and the like, we sympathize. But please don't generalize. If you had a bad relationship with a rich guy, would you warn all other women off rich guys?

Finally, let's tackle that comment about the 'scrawny guy with the nice personality'. First, calling someone scrawny is just not nice.  Shame on you for picking on him! And suppose that guy decides to go to the gym, and gets himself some big muscles, what then? Does he suddenly become less of an option? Highly unlikely. But even if he remains a little guy, don't stereotype and overlook him. While you're at it, stop stereotyping the weightlifters too.
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